Thursday, April 29, 2010

Heavy Spirit

I have a heavy heart and spirit tonight. I won't lie. I won't get on here and pretend life is perfect. I won't be fake. I'm pretty much through with all that. It's no fun and people can usually tell anyhow..

I have such a saddness in my heart. Let me tell you why and can I ask you to pray for these people?

Someone I know found out they had a miscarriage a few days ago. And they are pretty sad about it. In telling the world, the stated in the same sentence how they know God has a purpose for this pain. Wow. Faith. Real faith. Please pray for this couple. I won't mention their names but God knows..

And second, this one has really crushed me. A couple-friend of ours lost their 6 week old baby boy on Sunday. He passed away. He was asleep on Dad's chest. They both fell asleep. When dad awoke, baby wasn't breathing. They tried to save his life but to no avail, he went home to be with Jesus.
It just sickens me. Is that ugly to say? Sounds ugly. But it's my heart right now. I don't like to cry. But I'm fighting tears right now. Even though nobody in my house is awake...why would I be afraid to cry then? Hmm.. I think because letting tears flow is like facing the emotions within which is sometimes hard for me.

I just cannot imagine what they are feeling. I feel guilt looking at my little Parker wondering why it wasn't him? Don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful... but really. The loss of a child? I cannot imagine a worse pain.

I think about what the coming days will be for them: walking past his nursery, dirty or unfolded laundry belonging to him that still needs to be washed or put away, his carseat in the car, the reminder phonecall from the doctor for his 8 week checkup, remembering his cry, thinking you hear it in the middle of the night only to realize that he's....gone.

Yes I know he's in heaven with our Lord. Yes I know that he is at peace.. if you are searching for that blog post that shines the faith of God thru adversity, you will not find it at the moment. Like I said previously. I am being real. These are my real feelings. Give me break if you will. I KNOW in my head all of those things are true. That pain and suffering does have purpose. But let's imagine that it was YOUR child. Gone. Man, I never want to live that truth.

It's totally selfish that I am sitting here having a pitty party when that couple over there is living without their precious son. All 3 of mine are tucked away asleep and for now, are here with us. I realize that all of that could change in one second. I live in fear of that everyday. I thank God everyday that He gives me THIS day with them. I am not guaranteed the next.

Why am I finding it so hard to pray for these people who are suffering??? Makes no sense. I truly feel that it's because when I DO speak with the Lord over this, I am going to have a total meltdown of emotion. It hits so hard as a mother when you pray for peace for the parents who have no choice but to go on without their precious little one.

Please join me in prayer for these ones who are suffering. I pray that the enemy would be bound away from their home and their hearts. I ask that bitterness not set in and that peace and joy will soon fill that hole.

I ask you Lord, to help me put life in perspective more; but not at the cost of tragedy, please.

Never again shall I sit and worry, fret or lose sleep over things that truly do not matter without complete guilt. People are suffering. Over REAL issues. How selfish of me to WASTE God-given time (that I am not owed) over some of the most childish things know to mankind.

I'm so thankful that God's mercy starts anew each day. What. a. blessing.

Please Lord, help the hurting all over. Meet their need. Fill their spirit with peace. Just put Your hand upon them.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Fabulous News

Just dropping in to say hello..

It's been so busy for me lately that I haven't had time to blog.
It's 2am and I should totally be in bed but I'm not because I stayed up late to finish a big order..and I'm glad I did. It's hard to rest when you know you have orders piled up unfinished.

In about a month we'll have a new blog home! I'm super excited about that.. I will keep this blog for the growth and showcase for Jack and Cole Designs boutique.. which right now has been taken down so that I can work on it. It took a back seat during my pregnancy and pretty much that whole time we survived with repeat business and word of mouth.. not bad for not having to advertise! But now it's back to the hard core part of it. Now it's going to be harder trying to juggle the online store with my own handmade items I sell. But I love to be busy.. I love to craft so no complaints from me!

A few friends of mine and I have been working on a lingerie shower for a girlfriend of ours...it's been a blast hanging out with them. They have both blessed my heart in so many ways. It's so refreshing to hang out with girls who you actually admire and desire to be like. That's few and far between these days but it does exist! :)
I truly believe that God sends the right people into your life at exactly the right time.

So.. I know I'm so behind on posting info but...WE BOUGHT A HOUSE! We couldn't be more excited. We have been so busy working on it, making it our own and it's been so much fun. This house is perfect for us and it was totally meant to be. I kid you not we had a contract on another house when I clicked the REFRESH button on the real estate website and it totally popped up! It wasn't even on the market an entire day before we looked at it and decided it was made for us. It has great square footage and layout..and a HUGE backyard! My boys love it. It has definately been worth the wait for this house.

We are in the middle of rennovations. It's been a blast busting down walls and putting new ones up. I love Lowe's and Home Depot, and being the Re-Vamping Queen that I am, it's right up my ally to take something and give it a facelift!
I cannot wait to show you guys the before and after pictures.

We feel so blessed that God has given us this house. Cannot wait to start our lives there and make precious memories.
Want to shout out to our realtor--Juli--she's amazing! I never dreamed I'd gain another sweet friend out of the whole deal! We love Juli and appreciate all of her hard work for our family.

I really must run and get some sleep now. My puffy eyes will hate me tomorrow.
Blessings sweet friends! :)
ps-stay tuned for house pics and shower pics!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Understanding the "unfairs" in life

Sometimes...

people will say things about you that aren't true...

they will make unfair accusations about you...

they will tell others these hurtful things about you...

they will try to get everyone to see these untrue things...

they have a jealousy for which you never meant to cause and you don't understand...

they feel that you wish ill on them when you truly do not...

they will try to befriend those you care for and sway them in their thinking of you...

they will accuse you of things you have never done, said or felt...

they will do many things to you that are totally undeserved...

BUT

God has forgiven me of my sins... so I in return can forgive them of theirs. Because I too am a sinner..saved by grace.

All I can be is ME. Exactly how God made me. And relish in the truth that God knows the truth, he knows my heart, he knows my motives and my intentions.. I stand before Him at peace KNOWING that I have done all I can to remain in His will.

Am I perfect? No. Have I made mistakes? Yes. Have I let my mouth get the better of me in a time of pain.. certainly. But, I am a new person. I have turned all things over to Him. I never, ever do things to intetionally hurt people.

Not long ago I received a ugly comment on my blog referring to the flower headbands I make and sell. Listen up.. YES I MAKE FLOWER HEADBANDS..YES I SELL THEM...AND I LOVE DOING SO. I have always been a crafty gal. And upon ordering those same headbands to sell in my online boutique, I realized it was more cost effective for me to make them myself.. and boy has God blessed it. He. Is. Good.

I try to keep away from territories that other people have worked hard to gain and sell.. fair is fair. But please grow up and see that TONS of other people make them and sell them. It makes one look bad to be so catty over a headband.

I would also like to state for everyone who reads.. that a few weeks ago I was wrongly accused of misadvertising by using someone else's product and saying it was my creation. I have NEVER done that. If I said it was mine it the picture, it was MINE. I made it. I wouldn't claim it as mine otherwise.. and just because I didn't tell you I made it at the time, doesn't mean I didn't.

Life is way too short to fret over petty things.. so let's end this dreaded post.

I think it's silly for someone to feel they were "copied" when they weren't the original designer of that idea anway..

I saw a quote once that read, "It is better to fail at originality, than to succeed at imitation." But that statement is only true if you are the original desinger. The owner of the idea.. otherwise, you were merely "inspired" by someone else's creation.

Enough said.

Thursday, April 1, 2010